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the simple life

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Why is a funny question

Why is a funny question.

I look at myself in the mirror and ask why am I so fat.

I am fat because I eat a lot.
Why do you eat so much then?
Maybe because my mom likes to stuff my plate.
Why?
In her childhood, she didn’t have much to eat and so she wants the best for me.
Making you fat is the best she can do?
No. She could have cuddled me more when I was a baby. But then, I was a Beefy Baby.
So it’s your genes huh?
Yeah, or maybe it was too much breast milk.
Ahhh, so you were a mean sucker then?
How would I know? I was a cherub.
Blame God then.
Yeah. He probably saw my Fat Inner Child.

Ever had children ask you why questions endlessly? (Or adult friends, like Juvenile Jo (Malacca), who habitually whines, “But why?”)

Girl, you must eat your carrots.
Why?
It will make you healthy.
Why must I be healthy?
Then you will be as fit and pretty like your mother.
Why can’t I be like you, my fat father?

I propose we ban the teaching of the word “Why” to children below the age of 10. Maybe even 14. It will instantly elevate the quality of life for parents everywhere. But kids being kids will still find ways to get away with it. But I promise you this – No Whys saves Lives.

Witness the following scenario:

Daddy, can you buy this toy for me?
No way.
(Pause, since he can’t ask why) So how am I able to get you to buy this toy for me?
You have to make sure you get to college and not get fired on The Apprentice Season 22!
Father, I promise you I will work hard to deserve this toy and earn your love and affection. I love you dad.


I rest my case.

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