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the simple life

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Monday, December 06, 2004

Communication let me down

"What we've got here is failure to communicate."
-Cool Hand Luke

My mother had to borrow $300 from a friend because I forgot to give her pocket money for the month of November.

I am so ashamed of myself. For forgetting my duty, for neglecting her needs, for only thinking about myself.

And I'm sad that she feels bad asking me for money. I feel sad that it was easier for her to borrow from her friend rather than telling me.

It's my fault and I don't blame her at all. But we, and especially I, need to work on our communication skills.

I am not alone.

Last night, my friend was telling me about problems with her boss. Today, my colleague shared with me her problems with another colleague. From a third-party perspective, you know the solution to their problem is being transparent with the other person. But this is apparently easier said than done.

Someone the other day asked me about why my past relationship ended. I didn't know the short version of it so I told her that it was a long story.

Now I do.

Basically, this is a short, accurate but not a perfect answer. I was insecure and in my insecurity, I kept it all in and failed to communicate. (I'm totally aware that the other party might have a totally different perspective, even if you've struggled for years to find the answer. It's so tragic that it's funny.)

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" (the "grandfather of all people-skills books") is a wonderful book. I'm reading it now for the first time and getting some helpful tips from it. But at the end of the day, it's not so much the skills but how we master our emotions and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to others.

For this, I don't need a book.

Simply courage.

Things would be a lot easier if they sell this on Amazon.com.

1 Comments:

At 12/07/2004 10:51:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Isaiah

Thank you for your transparency. It is indeed bad of us as children to forget to give our parents. But I don't have this problem as I am always prompt and also my dad would ask me for it.

Today, my dad went to look for a job. For what reason he did not say. But I guess it should be because my step mom is going for a operation on her spine. And he is concern about our family expenses.

But thanks be to God for helping us not be ungrateful to our earthly parent who spend their lives toiling for us. And thank you for reminding us to always communicate with our loved ones. I just gave my dad a call to find out how is he getting on in the interview. My God shall supply all our needs in Christ Jesus.

You have a great day experiencing the beauty of living.

SL

 

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