Day 5

I need therapy.

A puppy is hard work and extremely disruptive to normacy. I have stopped reading, watching films, going out, eating decently. I have started spending tons of money, cleaning my house like crazy, speaking to my mom more, sleeping less, waking up every few hours.

Milou is pissing and shitting everywhere. He hates his crate, barks like crazy when shut in or left alone, whines and whelps and chews everything in sight.

It's a major lesson in patience. There were times when I want to strangle him but there are times when I love him to death (the same thing). He has this cute habit of leaning against the bed to see whether I'm there or not. If not, he will start barking and wants to get out of the room.

Toilet training is impossible. He chews up newspapers and even tore apart the customized pee pad we made for him. If not, he likes to sit on the pee pad and even sleep there. I'm going to try to put out the crate tray for him to see whether he pees there or not. After his vaccination, I want to train him to pee outside the house. But now, he can't even go out so I have to bear the pain.

I got really cross over him the other day but I managed to read something on the net that made me ashamed of myself. I hit him the other day (not that hard) as I lost my patience. I should hit myself instead since Milou isn't aware of what he does. Anyway, going to try to paper the entire floor if that's the only way for him to eliminate on paper. That's the only way to have some success for now.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...